You know things are not quite right when you have to write about not being able to write. Especially when you consider yourself as someone who “writes things out to be more articulate.”
But that’s how things should be. Sometimes.
Sometimes you forget what reality is. You know, when you systematise everything, and when you keep thinking about that ideal life you want to lead, you lose yourself in the process of becoming someone grotesquely pedantic and unfortunate.
That’s exactly when you should step back and let things slide a bit. There’s absolutely no need of trying to become a prolific writer while juggling two Bachelor’s degrees and one entrance exam prep sprint.
If you find the time to write, great.
If you find the time to read, great.
If you don’t, you’ll find some time later. Just keep that in mind, is all.
And when you do get time, make sure to relish it.
Yeah, yeah. Habits make a man. Then make a habit. What’s the big deal? What are you fussing about trying to spend an hour trying to do so? You fall to your systems, sure, but when you talk more, plan more and analyse more, and try to perfect everything, it stresses you out instead. You’re a prey of flawed self-management skills.
You know, Nibir, sometimes I wonder if you don’t actually know what you’re trying to. Let things be like they are for once. Let yourself be for once. Wei Wu Wei.
There’s no need to edit this post either. Sometimes that’s how things should be.
Leave some breathing room for yourself. Don’t suffer endlessly.