why do I study?

a realisation: transcending beyond the concept of scoring

#debugging #philosophy #essay 2 min read


"What is my motive to study?"
'No, it is not to score, but to learn.'
"Then why do I have inner conflicts when studying?"
'I love studying. The issue is with "why" I am supposed to study. The most causal explanation I can give is that I put too much weightage on my principles against the "study to score" idea, which seeps into my mind when I am practicing and studying.'


I would like to frame things differently to myself now. Instead of solving question papers for the best possible marks (which is inherently the objective behind mock tests and such), I will solve them to check my understanding and refine my knowledge (this aligns with my core values, which is to learn and acquire more knowledge.)

It won't matter if I score low. I would win inevitably if I learnt something new. And I believe that it may make me score more (I mean, if you are crystal clear with your concepts, how can you not score?).

But the main motive is to keep in mind that I am not doing it for the marks.


Whenever I will watch a video on a concept or revise a topic, I would make myself remember my intentions of doing so. And they are:

  1. I love learning, and I will learn for the sake of learning (intrinsic motivation).
  2. It will help me understand the world.
  3. I can use it to contribute to the world.

wb college?

Many students, including me, get startled when they think about college. "Oh no, I have got to do X and Y to get into a good college!".
I believe this is some sort of FOMO, but everything will be alright eventually. If you have your reasons clear, you are going to accomplish your job.

My parents worry about this too, because I am too "away" from the mainstream. This does not align with their ideology; well, they were raised in a different era and a different way.


I do realise that I had been in a slump. I had lost my curiosity, because I forgot my reasons why I study. Maybe this is high time that you too realise why YOU study.

Studying and learning should be fun, not mundane and aimless, which is why you need to understand what tickles your inner (studious) Laughing Buddha to wake up.

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