Incomprehensible
How do you stop feeling ashamed?
How does it feel when someone you've been with since the beginning of your life does something absolutely preposterous and moronic? When you don't seem to comprehend if it is the same person or someone else possessing their body?
No, this is not about teenage angst; that is an entirely different point. This is about parents who went through a momentary lapse of reason and did something which directly or indirectly hurt people, damaged public image and most importantly, broke the sacred bond of trust.
When a parent does something so atrocious, something that you had never expected, how do you rationalise it? How do you get away from it? What do you do about the fact that you descend from a family of hedonistic lunatics?
How do you stop feeling ashamed?
A parent does something sinful, how do you look at them again with the same eyes as before? You used to admire your parent, but now it all seems pointless. Such an event, so corrupt in nature, is contagious enough to spread, from being a mere concept, into people's hearts.
How do you comprehend such an event? Is it possible to let go?
Maybe. Maybe not. Stoic philosophers ask us not to be surprised when a fig tree produces figs[1]. Maybe we should not expect Godliness, or perfectionism from humans, because they are the epitome of imperfection and flaws.
Psychoanalysis also says that humans sabotage themselves[2]. Maybe these parents (who are also human) are ever so oblivious of their shadow-self, that they are not able to think reasonably about their own actions and their consequences.
Some things remain a mystery. They haunt you later in life.
Footnotes
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