Jun 29, 2025

Giovanni's Room

thoughts after reading Giovanni's Room

Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin was beautifully tragic. And it hit like a freight train. This book had me looking at love, humans and myself in a completely different light. I immediately felt the urge to grab my loved ones and say: "Oh I am so very sorry. Oh I love you so very much!"

I wouldn't dare classify this as only a romance novella; it's certainly more than that. It's about relationships, identity, sexuality, poverty, and the duplicit nature of humans. It's a tragedy, beyond tragedy itself.

I was, and still am, overwhelmed with feelings of longing, of sadness, of understanding and of love. I felt as if everything that happened in this book, was happening to me.

It's equally heartbreaking and sensual. I think it is a very, very important read for anyone. Imagine Anxious People, The Fall and The Sense of an Ending had a threesome and conceived a child with all of their qualities, but gay.

This post is a bit rambly and sporadic, because I cannot seem to string it all together. The feelings are really hard to put into words. But anyhow, here are my thoughts and inner reflections.

There is no literary discussion on this post, but I assure you that the language flows like sweet honey. It is very pretty. I read the print version along with the audiobook (read by Matt Bomer).

It's terribly difficult to be a man who hides, who wants to remain clean, pristine, untouched, and unloved. He pushes everyone away. He is afraid. Afraid of everyone and afraid of himself.

Who would want to be that man? But you are. We all are.

"I have something to say to her- to her?- but of course it will never be said. I feel that I want to be forgiven, I want her to forgive me. But I do not know how to state my crime. My crime, in some odd way, is in being a man and she knows all about this already. It is terrible how naked she makes me feel, like a half grown boy, naked before his mother."

We are afraid of being honest, afraid of appearing without a mask in this costume party of a world. Fear does a lot of bad things to people, and to love.

This book made me understand how deep love is. How beautiful and yet, how cruel. It pushes you off a cliff and catches you at the same time. It is rapturous, treacherous, and oh how it makes you thrive. How it makes you live!

"Look, look what you have done to me. Do you think you could have done this if I did not love you? Is this what you should do to love?"

Sure, love is complicated. But I'd much rather be in love than not. It may seem very naïve- since I am only over 18, at the time of writing this- but love makes you whole. It anchors you.

It is a Pascal's Wager. Who wouldn't want to be in love?

This book will make you terribly sorry for everything, but you won't know why.
You may even cry, and you won't know why.

But linger onto that feeling of utter destruction for a while. Dwell on it, reflect on it, let it intoxicate you. Feel it.

And then, maybe, just maybe, we'll all understand some divine truth, about ourselves and about everything.

4.5/5